NEAR RELAPSE!!! AAAAAARGH!!!

OK, not quite that dramatic. But I had a couple days last week in which I had near constant craving to buy.....something. And I didn't need something. But I still craved, longed, obsessed about buying. Head was crowded more than the usual amount of thoughts, which seemed to be coming quickly and in short spurts. Like, "Wanna buy!" "Need to stop at..... umm.." "I gotta have some.... umm" "You can't afford something so frivolous that u don't even know what it is..." "What wonderful thing costs a dollar or 2.." "Gimme gimme gimme" "THIS IS TOTALLY AGAINST YOUR PRIORITIES!" "SHADDUP-A-YU!" So I could think of nothing at all satisfactory because to buy ANYTHING at that point was, um, pointless! It helped to come straight home and read one of my weekly magazines, and order a book on PaperbackSwap. The book came today. It's not the book I ordered. :-(

Food - the largest expense

Well, not the largest.  My largest expense is rent ($450)... but food is close, probably 300-400 a month.
Part of the reason is that I eat incredibly healthy.  If I don't, I feel like crap.  I have to.

Workarounds:
- Cook from scratch.  Healthy, cheap, and not always labor intensive.  I love using my crockpots.  Check out 365Crockpot ,
- Buy in bulk, and on sale.
- Cook large meals and FREEZE individual portions.  Not all foods freeze well.   Soups and chili freeze great.  Rice-based meals don't.  I'm still learning about this, but I love it.  When I'm too tired to cook, instead of ordering out or skipping the meal, I grab something from the freezer.
- Plan meals at the beginning of the week, shop with a list and stick to it.  I know it seems simple but for the longest time I was grabbing random things from the grocery store and freestyle nomming
- Look in the freezer and cabinets, and plan meals based on what you already have.
- GROW YOUR OWN FOOD.  I grow hundreds of pounds of organic produce a year, with just a couple hours a week of work.  Gardening is awesome and easy.  I will blog about this in the future...

Settling in/The honeymoon is over

As we move slooowly toward the ultimate goal (dentist paid, inheritance replenished), some of the thrill is waning. I am no longer documenting every single penny that we spend. That was anal verging on OCD, man. So now I am much looser, and slightly nervous that this mission will fade away. I am STILL committed to the above-mentioned goals! Unfortunately, since it is taking a month to get to minimal credit bills monthly, we aren't making direct moves toward said goals yet. Patience is NOT one of my traits. I think Shirley McLaine said in some movie "Immediate gratification is not soon enough for me!" So, I am trying to relax, let things go, and realize that by mid-May I will be seeing changes.
Some changes that I am making secondarily toward my primary goals:

1) Start electronic billing to eventually decrease some work and increase the speed of my income

2) Take advantage of a seminar offer to have 6 free months of membership on Psychology Today's therapist registry to increase my referrals (although that could actually create some problems if I get too many referrals...)

3) With son Jonathan's gracious help, get my website back up and running.

I'm excited about these changes! It's a big refresher to my practice. I must also maintain attentive self-care through this. I will still take one to two long breaks during the day, and work only a four day week.

Processes that have NOT gone by the wayside (Yay!!) include paying cash for most things except Target purchases because of the 5% discount when the charge card is used, and few other agreed-upon larger purchases. I am shocked that I have not had any cravings to SPEND with no goal in mind other than the rush of spending. And I guess I am a little glad to feel some non-defensive guilt about having spent $60, then another $20 on one of my Zynga games. A bit of guilt is a good motivater to feel uncomfortable enough to change one's behavior.... I hope. The only other frivolous purchases I have made so far have been 1 or 2 magazines a week. I must look at my existing wardrobe, and at ads, then figure out what I need in the way of spring clothing.

Other continuing processes; using more foods from the freezer, and buying meats at Target early in the day, when there are marked down meats, which may also be on sale besides clearance, then tossing them in the freezer for future use. We're better about using up leftovers. I am cooking more at home. I make Ray's lunch more often. I generally stay out of my tempting stores (especially Kohl's!) . When I do shop other than for groceries, I go directly to the item I plan to purchase, grab the sucker and leave! Well, I pay for it first.... Even in the grocery store, I nearly always stick to my list.
These are BIG changes for me! I have been SO much more impulsive in my life!! How interesting it is, that to behave more conservatively is actually quite exciting!

Dealing with the compulsion to SPEND- my methodone

I don't know if it's a chick thing, or a me thing, or an Arnold thing, but I like spending money.  Not even just to GET stuff, but the act of hunting something out (that I didn't even know I needed), and buying it makes me feel gooood.  Luck drugs-good.

So, rather than trying to STOP doing this completely, I've learned that I need to give myself safe outlets for spending money for no reason.  Here are a few:

1) Thrift stores.  Go into the store with oh, $10.  Find something (or many things).  I'm often surprised with the quality of some of the clothing I can find, especially at the Amvets at Walden.  My mom and I go together, laugh at the funniest clothing, try stuff on for hours and leave tired and satisfied.

2) Freecycle (yahoo groups) and the free section on craigslist.  I'm not sure why, but "shopping" for free things gets me just as happy as buying things.  In the last few weeks, I found a blender, a crockpot, and 250 legal books (for my dorky law school boyfriend).

3) Budgeting "play" money.  I give myself a certain amount of money every week, for food, gas, clothing, toiletries - basically anything except for rent/insurance/utilities.  After I've covered the essentials in a week, I can use that money for whatever I want.  Sometimes I spend it, but in a way having the OPTION to spend it makes me spend it less.  Instead lately I've been saving for a small weekend trip.   Hmmm,if spending money is less exciting when I'm allowed to do it, I wonder if spending money is an act of rebellion? What do you think, mom?

Anyways, those are some of my tricks to deal with my spending addicition/affliction.  I will never be able to STOP spending money in any form, so giving myself safe outlets keeps me from going overboard, and also prevents me from feeling guilty about the money I do spend.  What are some of your ways to help you spend safely?

The thrill is gone.... already?!

Wish DH was on same page as me with this.  I am irritating him, and fights get picked.  Worse than picking scabs, if ya know what I mean.

This. is. a. test.

Today there was another test: shopping with somewhat of an enabler, my dear d-i-l.  After our Red Hat luncheon, we headed for Wegmans because she needed to do her weekly shopping.  We have fun shopping together, especially in the big international  Weggers.  She tells me of wonderful things that she has tried and I want to just try them all, whether I need to or not.  BUT!  I will use them!  I will, I will... Brussel sprouts, fresh asparagus, mmmmmm, but they are a total waste if we don't eat them!  That is one of my former wasteful trends... looks wonderful in the store, cart, in the  p. c. reusable grocery bag, then gets jammed in the vegetable drawer, never to be seen again until being slowly lifted, pinched between thumb and forefinger, as a slimy UFO (unidentified food object), to be flung quickly into the garbage.  Must use!.

First test, and some insight from the daughter

So today I ventured out of my safe zones. Jess and I went vintage/used-clothing shopping for her. I requested her help in buying nothing but the the necessary groceries. Ritzy Rags and AmVets were easy - I just stayed away from my size clothing. Target was a bit more challenging, but the fresh resolve continues.
When I told Jess of the intense guilt I felt yesterday from buying $10 more in cat tunnel toy than I had planned to, she pointed out that the last time I set my mind to discipline myself to control my spending, I did so too harshly, and wasn't able to maintain the resolve. So now I must find a means to relax my rigidity some. Perhaps the idea of setting aside an allowance weekly to be spent on non-necessities. Not sure how much to set aside, and exactly what will fit in the category for which I will use it....
And, btw... the extra cat thing, the tunnel, was supposed to fasten to the two houses that I purchased to replace old broken ones. It didn't match up right with the houses and went back to Target for a refund. Yeah! Also, they had forgotten to take down a sale sign, so I got a Super Refund of nearly $12. More yeah!

Here I am, and here's the problem

gaillardiaJan 24, 2012 07:33 PM

So here's the deal. 2011 was not kind to me. There were lots of medical expenses. Due to several of them in a perfect-storm kind of combo, my teeth began breaking apart at an alarming speed. The end result? A $7K debt to my darling dentist. Actually, that's not sarcastic, in spite of all appearances. He is sweet, kind, gentle, humorous, and EXPENSIVE! These expenses are compounded by some rather entitled and very impulsive self-gratifying spending. I created huge amounts of lovely jewelry without having any clear plans on how to profit from it. Do you have any idea how small a bag of $150 work of lovely glass beads can be? It's quite deceiving! I ate into the inheritance I have left from my mother, and my determination to replenish that account by at least $5K (preferably $10K) means this is going to be a LONG endeavor!
So. To be paid off:
Dentist: approx $5K
Podiatrist: $660 that he told me would be completely covered by my insurance. Grrrrr.
Inheritance: at least $5K.
Minimum amount in order to achieve this goal:
Approx $10,700
Current plan: 1) Keep rigid, itemized specs of ALL expenses.
2) SPEND LESS! MUCH LESS! via...
a) no impulse buys
b) avoid all areas of Target except for grocery department
c) avoid any and all department or clothing stores until spring.
d) rarely use credit card. Can be used for Target (5% discount), gas stations (%5 return).... and maybe that's it.
e) as little unnecessary spending as possible, like massages, craft supplies, novels, jewelry.
OK, that's all the commitment I can bear for now.... I look forward to vulnerably exposing my foibles to you all!

LET THE BUDGET BLOGS COMMENCE

Your hosts:

]

Jessica - 28 years old.  Downtown renter.  Single.  No Roomates.  One cat, rabbit, and a penchant for impulse purchases and travel.

Gail - lovely mother of Jessica.  Suburban homeowner - 3 more years to mortgage free. Married.  Two adult children.  Two cats.  Penchant for gardening, knitting, and jewelry marking.

Together, we are BUDGETING BABES.  We have made a pact to get our finances under control.  As a brazen mother-daughter team, we know each other better than anyone and can whip our bodacious butts into shape.

We will both blog about with tips, successes, failures, insights and gnashing of teeth.  Let the blogging begin.